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| Check back regularly - We will add/edit articles as they become relevant to the current market trends. |
Strange — sometimes wonderful — things are for sale on
Clearwater Beach
Saturday, March 26, 2011 - CLEARWATER BEACH - For many Floridians,
the beachfront tchotchke shop is a strange and dreadful place.
The lame gag gifts. The tacky bumper stickers. The hemp jewelry and henna
tattoos. Who would buy this stuff?
The answer: a lot of people.
On Mandalay Avenue, Clearwater Beach's souvenir central, bauble shops like
Wings and Surf Style are often awash in visitors from out of town. Their
business is selling Florida in a bag. And business is good. On a recent sunny
spring break afternoon, we ventured out to see what they had to offer. We just
barely made it out alive.
Here are a few highlights from the heart of tourist town.
Strangest inscribed souvenir: Dead baby shark in glass jar, with the
inscriptions, "Clearwater Beach Florida" and "SHARK" — $14.99 (Surf
Style).
Most interesting: Real severed alligator head, wild or farm-bred, 2.5 inches to
a foot long, $14.99 to $45 (multiple stores).
Worst toy / Least likely to survive the trip home: Porcupinefish, expanded —
$12.99 (Wings).
Strangest attempt at "beachwear": "Tiger skin" men's robe, with tiger
designs (not real tiger skin) — $49 (Swim & Play).
Most likely to be regifted: Shell-encrusted tissue box — $14.99 (Beach
Bazaar).
Highest concentration of "Florida" symbols: Flex visor, with flamingos,
oranges or flip-flops — $3.99 (Surf Style).
Most creative use of native wildlife: "Gator" back scratcher, with gator claw
on a stick — $3.99 (Beach Bazaar).
Least creative use of Florida wildlife: Shot glass with "Genuine Shark's
Tooth" — $8.97 (Freaky Tiki Surf Shack).
Least likely to be bought for son: Neon "beer bong" funnel, with sticker, "I
Got Bonged" — $5.99 (Wings).
Least likely to be bought for daughter: Neon yellow shot glass, "Drink Till
He's Cute" — $4.99 (Wings).
Best understanding of state geography: Map of Florida T-shirt, in pink, "Not
Everything is Flat in Florida" — $8.50 (Surf Style).
Worst understanding of state geography: Map of Florida T-shirt, in white or
gray, with dolphin jumping over city of "St. Petersburgh" — $9.99 (Wings).
Least likely to be bought by a Floridian: Bag of assorted shells, 9 pounds —
$14.99 (Wings).
Most unnecessary combo pack: "Pong on the Go," a pack of 22 red plastic
cups and three pingpong balls used for the "Beer Pong" drinking game, with
instruction manual — $5.99 (Surf Style).
Least likely to be seen in an office setting: "Little Sipper" novelty coffee
mug, with nude breast — $6.99 (Eagle Wings).
Most high-tech: Computer mouse with liquid compartment and plastic
clownfish, with "Clearwater Beach" monogram, in blue, green or yellow —
$22.99 (Celebrity of Clearwater).
Most dignified beach art: Horseshoe crab glass sculpture — $27.99 (Beach
Bazaar).
Least dignified beach art: Sea turtle ashtray — $7.99 (Surf Style).